Commie Ape-Men with Guns!
Dec 30th, 2005 by Matt
Today’s strange tale of mystery and intrigue is kind of a “See I told you so!” If you read the post I wrote about Monkeys with Guns You would know that I am concerned about the future of mankind. Zoos give us a false impression that we have everything under control. However apes are not looking at us from behind the glass in zoos because they are dumb enough to have been caught. They are infact spies for the rest of the ape army. They have volunteered to be “captured” so that they may infiltrate enemy lines and study us to learn our weaknesses.
And now it seems my worst fears may have happened. Moscow News has reported that Stahlin Planned to create an army of Super Ape-Men. Here is an excerpt:
Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia’s top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.
Stalin reportedly told the scientist: “I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat.â€
In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a “living war machineâ€. The order came at a time when the Soviet Union was embarked on a crusade to turn the world upside down, with social engineering seen as a partner to industrialization: new cities, architecture, and a new egalitarian society were being created.
Let us learn from the past so that we are not destined to repeat it.
-Matt

Did you ever see Izzard’s Circle? He did a whole monkey’s with guns bit.
Yeah I own the Circle DVD,
It’s to bad that album wasn’t funnier. Personally, I think he might have been on something that night.
He certainly wasn’t in top form.